Grandma, reflected.
Sometimes you come across something that captures with startling clarity many of the thoughts that rattle around in your own brain, but that you’ve yet to find the words to express.
Yesterday, my friend Elizabeth shared this article from the New York Times with me:
http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/03/22/suddenly-theyre-all-gone/?smid=pl-share
The article really nails what it’s like to be a caregiver. The constant anticipation/dread of what may happen. Knowing that in the end what you fear most WILL happen.
Give the article a read. It gives a really good sense of what being a caregiver entails.
One L Short of Normal 
Thank you for a very good article. I’ve been a caregiver three times. All three loved ones remained in the comfort of their homes. The last time was the hardest and most challenging. Mom was my best friend and boon companion, and her deterioration was slow and hard. Like you, bringing comfort and brightness to her days became the essential point of mine. Being childless, I had never felt so needed. A part of the grief now is having no one left to care for. Friends say, it’s “my time”, now. I’m sad, but excited, too, to discover what that means. Mom, Dad, and Granny taught me how to die, but they also taught me how to live. You are blessed to have a fine teacher living with you every day. When the time comes, I think you will feel how greatly your strength has magnified. You will stand at that special signpost in your life and look back to where you were before your caregiving days and realize how tremendously on every level you have grown. It is clear you already know and appreciate that this is happening. Your love and gratitude towards your grandmother is reflected in every post. I know it’s hard. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.